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It's been a weird day, very surreal and all. Nothing concretely weird happened...well there was a guy with pants made out of the skins of stuffed animals...but otherwise nothing.
It's beginning to get humid. Spring is in the air, which sucks because hot weather comes next.
I think right now in America we're approaching times similar to the forties. It seems like everything goes in cycles, like we're building up cultural structure again, insisting on teamwork and the rightness of our position because we need to. And then one day, maybe, we'll be more secure and we won't need to do that.. but we will anyway, so more and more people will begin rebelling and unconvintional behavior will become popular again. And then the postal rates will accidently be lowered so the human race will be buried under piles of junk mail and die.

I think I've been avoiding my friends, even though I'd like to see them...I don't know. I'm stuck in my head.
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I'm nervous. Very nervous. Did I say I was nervous? I feel like a five year old surrounded by adults.
I misread my new french classroom as 203. Assumed that there was no such class after all. Freaked out. Accidently walked in on my old french teacher while she was teaching class. Got chewed out.

*Whacks head* If my other class ends at 11:55 and my next begins at 1, then I DO have a lunch! Duh!

Mom called last night, and in a hushed voice told me she had found some sites that were "not nice" on the computer. Apparently, somehow two advertisments for porns got into the "documents" section. I have no idea how that happened. Maybe I visited a site where those were pop up ads, but how, how did they get in the "documents" section?? Me being ignorant about computers and all, I made up some story about how "webrawlers" must have installed "cookies" there. Total BS, but she knows less about computers than I do. I don't think she believed me though. So my mom thinks I like porn sites.* Great*
"Your dad's going to hit the roof when he sees this." It is a fundamental mistake to ever teach parents how to use a computer.
Before she hung up, she asked "You don't ever go to *boys* rooms or have them go to your room, do you.?"
Shee. I could have told the truth and said "Yes I do. I know these boys well enough to trust them. (Strange but true,mom, some members of the male sex can be trusted!) They're friends. "
Or as option #2, I could do everything she tells me.
I chose option #3: Lie. "No, and I don't ride in cars with boys either."
I should have chosen option #4: "I don't like men. I'm attracted to women. I thought you knew that."
Ahh..It's not that bad .She's just trying to protect me...Just call me Norman. Norman Bates.
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Gawd, I've been such a geek today...sadly not a computer geek though.
It's just one of those days when I get the blinding realization that I've been standing too close to the person I just got finished talking to, and I probably have lettice in my teeth.
I want to be around people. I really love walking around campus, enjoying the sun, just being part of the crowd, but my mind's somewhere else. Anytime I've tried to communicate one on one, it feels like my brain's fused together. Just numbness and fog.
This worries me because I've always drifted away from my friends after a certain period of time.
It also pisses me off that I'm ignorant about so much...That old steriotype about girls being english majors and doing poorly at math GRRR.
I guess, if I just worked, I could learn stuff. But! But! It seems hard. Gah! I'm lazy. I don't even read books on my own anymore unless they are entertaining or instructive liberal-arts oriented type.
-Last night I dreamed about making up ethnic slurs for Germans. They tend to be underrepresented in ethnic slurs.
-Now I know what a Nazi hippie would look like. Nice coat, Bob!
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Well. I was able to get lunch today. Just because I got out early. But now all the other class times are taken. Ah...well.
Matt talked me into going with him to rent a dvd...a little frostbite never hurt nobody.
Then, maybe, just maybe, the chair of the English department will be back from his cruise in the bahamas and I can officially become a directionless English major.

I got one of those nifty velcro shirts you can attatch letters to. heheh. It says "We're doomed."
The only problem is that it fits funny.
I also recently spent four hours looking for a pair of black pants. None of them fit right or looked right.
I must really have a weird body.
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I'm between classes right now. Hopefully I can change my schedual so that I can eat lunch. Lunch is good. I'm in the lab with the MS chapter of american atheists. (Bob)
Yeah, I feel a little stupid for starting a community when i don't even really know that many people, but maybe it will be ok. Surely there are many people who wish to complain about Mississippi out there?
I probably should never have introduced Matt to live journal. ahh..well, it's all for the greater glory of...Fred.
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Yes. Yes I am.

I'm Jhonen Vasquez!

You are very creative, and 0wn us all. Booyaka.

Take the "What weird
obsession are you?" quiz

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New Year's resolution: Never ever ever ever ever have to live at home.
Damn, I hope I didn't jinx it by mentioning it.
Someone told me my aura was violet, tan, and lavender. I told them my favorite colors were green and black. Violet's good too. So's white.
Thinking about Christmas money...It's so tempting to spend it on something like a movie or a cd or Edward Gorey's "Amphigorey Also." Aggg...I may need that money some time in the future.
Hopefully, I move back to school tommorrow.
I've been sleeping 15 hours a day.


Jan. 2nd, 2002 09:16 am
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It snowed last night. There must be at least an inch on top of the pink flamingos.
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Tonight on New Year's eve, I will go to bed. Not like New Years isn't an entirely arbitrary holiday. I've had too much family bonding already, what with Christmas and all and now we're going out to grandma's on New Years Eve. Errr..

I got to look in a cool thrift store today. It was in the dimly lit second floor of a building downtown. There were a lot of cool old dresses and s I found a white nurse dress I had been looking for...sadly was size 14.
There was a sign there saying:
"God's People Do Not Steal! You Will Go to Hell If You Steal!"
lol. That's my kind of place
well, dad tells me i need to "wind it down", so like a good little monkie I obey!

(can you find matt in this journal?)
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Oh yeah...went to Hattiesburg friday, saw Matt, got to see Cecil B. Demented. Hahahaha! Good movie. I loved the costumes. I am so obsessed with aestetics...but don't worry. I don't intend to shoot anyone over that!
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The Cheshire Cat

You're the epitome of insane. Either you're very smart, or you're too damn stupid. The world is your playground, and everything -- and everyone -- in it is a toy for you to play with. People should be scared of you, but because you're so affable, they aren't. Tough for them. </td>

I know, I know too many tests. But I had to add this one. I HAD to. UNDERSTAND?!?!
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Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Well at least now i know how i'll be celebrating...
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This is a great song, but I don't have any idea who sings this:
"Why don't we take a ride, way up high through the neighborhood,
Up over the billboards and the factories and smoke...."
I think it's calle "Fly away" or something such.

There's also another cool song that sounds kind of electronic and has an old, scottish-sounding man singing
"What did you do in the war?
They died-so we might live
You died when others died,
you spent your life
you tried and tried,
but nothing can compare
with the gleaming eyes and kinking hair
when you face indeed
the foe you need
You need your angry Germans
a-ya-ya, a-na-na, you need your angry Germans."
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I have a plan for world peace. It's effective yet remarkably simple, which proves that anyone who says world politics is extremely complicated and can't be solved by quick-fix actions WRONG. It satisfies the people's demand for swift and obvious justice AND it doesn't require anyone to give up any land, money, ideas, or prejudices. This is way beyond any compromise, this way every side comes out with the knowledge that they were not wusses, they did not back out, yet all strife, all conflict will end forever and Peace will reign.
My plan is simply:

anihilate anything that so much as *moves.*

(Well it was either that or arm monkeys.)
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Why must I always close that little box when I'm on AIM?
Why? Why? Why?
Family makes beth craaaazy.
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I went to Wal-Mart today, and after getting over the feeling of intense dizziness and confusion, it was great.
All those people rushing around in crisis mode sort of added charge to the air. Of course they/we were all focused on buying stuff up like little piggies, but that's not the *point*.
Ah, Christmas, the masses of humanity, the frenzy, the nervous breakdowns, the polite facades pushed to their breaking points.
It just made me feel more human.
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I've been moping, feeling like there's something I should do, yet having no idea what that is. Also it pisses me that I lost that page of my zine. I feel completely lost.
I read some messageboards I hadn't read in a while last night. That made me laugh a lot.I'm not exactly dancin' like a monkey, but I feel I might be better. I craaaave funny cinema, want to see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back again. Someone made a "which Kevin Smith female character are you" quiz. I wish they'd make a guys quiz. Thad' be awesome.
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Come closer and let me show you something really amazing...closer...closer....WHAP! ahahahahahaha!
Clean the mirror, spotty, they're coming through the door! We're all doomed, see the doomy goodness, now I'll never get to work at the Weekly World News, for I am forever a slave to those who consider Women's Weakly to be gospel and those who wipe Korns snotty @ssses. The alien want's to come uut and play. GRRRR... My hair not neat enough for you? Well pinch my cheek and call me a dependent.Good words, good thoughts good deeds. Emily Dickenson. Insanity was a small price to pay for autonomy. But, seriously, folks, we should all stop replicating, abolish sexual attractiveness, Abolish HUManisim! stop consuming and just let the race die out. It's not worth it, I tell you!

-This Happy Noodleoid-like speech is brought to you courtesy of the Absolute Tyranny of Female Relatives.
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I'm still bummed about that page of my zine getting lost. I just don't feel like starting another. I feel that my hands are tied. You know, I'm twenty and I've never had a job besides working in my dad's shop. That's screwed up. I want to start working on my zine, but I'd just mess up my room with snowdrifts of paper. Nothing ever comes out. Everything stays right here in my head. No communication, mass frustration, I don't believe anything I've ever said.
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